Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize