Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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