: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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