absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
