I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I'm both gender and math confused
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
