thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize