I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
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