guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
