I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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