fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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