On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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