quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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