Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
