Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Randomize
