You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize