I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
