I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
