If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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