i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
You're a waste of cheezeits
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
