I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
