I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
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