hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
