i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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