Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
She told me I should be a condom model.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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