is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
