Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Success! We fucked roommates!
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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