Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
