ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
