took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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