I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
