Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
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