dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
