i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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