Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
