i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Randomize
