If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I believe in your delicious
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
