new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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