Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
