This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Randomize
