need another drink. this is the easiest way
Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
