awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
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