how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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