she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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