NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
