I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
