I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
