would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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