i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
