I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize