His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
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