i just wanna soil my oats bro
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
no. you can't hotbox the world.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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