i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
