I heard we made out
a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
