I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
