VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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