so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
