he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
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