i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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