Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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