when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
