im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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