My hand turned me down
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
why does every cop we meet know your name?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
