Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
