So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize
