I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I need moral support for this bender
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
