Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
