so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
