Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize