if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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