a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
