great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Randomize
